Still Weighting For My Weakness To Dissapear
by WeeMac
Summary: If you haven't read weighting for my weakness to dissapear read it first, this is a sequeal to which Ray now needs Kai's help and advice


Still weighting for my weakness' to disappear

Same disclaimers as usual

A lot has changed in the past few months since that "incident", mostly for the better.

After I got released from the hospital when they thought I was stable enough not to

Relapse into anorexia or bulimia again, Ray insisted I went to the doctors so he could give me a suitable diet. I thought it was stupid and could control my own diet now but after a week I decided to go because I could see I was getting into old habits.

"And this is what you should have here and this here making sure you get this and this here" the doctor babbled on, Ray nodded like he was the one going on the diet but I wasn't happy with it.

"Kai what's wrong I thought this was what you wanted?" Ray noticed my uninterested look.

"Nothing it's just I….want to be a vegetarian"….bet none of you expected me to say that!

"But Kai why? And besides that's can't be very healthy" Ray stammered back, he didn't expect that either

"On the contrary it is quite healthy; nowadays there are plenty of substitutes for the nutrients found in meat so if Kai wants to I can draw up a suitable diet"

"Oh, well whatever you want" Ray replied and I smiled. I didn't think that killing animals for meat was totally barbaric and I do understand why other people have it but personally I wasn't happy eating it. Another change was when I was trying to overcome my other problem of boredom. Because I don't do much except train my mind was so focused on eating during free time that it contributed to messing me up big style. Strangely it was Tyson who recommended getting a new hobby to use up free time he is getting quite smart nowadays.

"How about learning guitar"Max shouted as we walked past the music shop, I stood thinking about it for a second but my eyes wandered over to the strap- those leather handles erg! I walked inside and looked at the rack of straps, all leather!

"Kai you have to buy the guitar before the strap" Tyson laughed- lemme add "alec" to the smart comment I said earlier

"Guitar isn't for me" I glared back and walked out, I wasn't planning to tell Tyson or Max about my new found vegetarian lifestyle because there was no point. I make my own meals anyway and Tyson would just rub it in my face with a pork chop or slice of beef.

I looked up Leather free straps on the internet to see if I could find one, but the only one I found cost more than a guitar!

After giving up I started typing in random words to get some hobby inspiration, and found some paintings in my search, there was an idea-ART!

So that is what I do nowadays for different emotions. Beyblading is good for being happy or angry but if you are down or thinking about something deeply you are pretty stuck and it's very hard to focus.

"What the hell is that it looks like a dead cat" Tyson shouted from the sofa, trying to control his laughter miserably

"It's a crow you twit" I shouted back

"Its….original" At least max was trying to spare my feelings abit. I looked at Ray to see what he had to say but he stayed silent

"Fine your loss, I still like it" it didn't matter to me they didn't like it, no taste is what I think! I'll keep my art to myself.

So that's what I did, and I'm quite glad I do now because some of my pictures would probably convince them I need psychiatric help as they are when I'm down and depressed paint quite "emo" style, not that I am one for labels but it is the best way to describe them they makes me feel a lot better about my problems even if they don't solve them. Although I have never painted about "that" time I still have a "get well card" from the boy who I was playing when I collapsed gave me sitting on a shelf, it just reminds me to stay strong really.

So now six months on we are sitting in "The Blade breaker House", We are so famous now that Mr D said we should get our own house to stay in during breaks so we can keep practising together- bit of a contradiction to a "break" but I don't mind, I get quite lonely when everyone goes back to there families in the holidays and I can't. Tonight its Christmas Eve, they have all phoned their families saying how much the miss them and everything sappy like that, really they would choose going home over me in an instant but there is a tournament a few months after and Mr D wants to make sure we don't slack for a second.

I'm sitting in my room painting, a picture for Ray. Quite hard when I share a room with him because he is always in and out, bur he is watching some Christmas special with Tyson while Max is bounding about screaming "Santa's coming Santa's coming" His innocence and naivety is quite cute.

I blow the picture with Ray's hairdryer to make it dry faster but then there's a sound of steps coming up the stair. I shove it under my bed and sit on my bed, with the hairdryer in hand

"Kai what are you doing?" Ray popped his head round the door, I realise the hairdryer is still on and point it towards my head

"Errm …just drying my hair" Tyson would have a field day if he came in now

"Well you should of asked first but you can use it" and with that he shut the door. I whipped the picture back out and wrapped it up, I hope he likes it.

"PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS" … Damn Max! he jumps from bed to bed like he can fly, he needs to cut out the sugar.

I'm slightly excited I must admit but I still take my time to walk downstairs. Max has already ripped opened his presents and has started scoffing down the chocolates, only when he is done he notices the " suitable for diabetics label" on the box he has just eaten(genius buy from me) but just starts on the next box that is normal chocolate from Tyson.

Tyson opens his present from me; I can't help laugh at the look on his face when he saw a book. Mean? Nah he needs to read more.

Ray was the only present which wasn't for my personal amusement but genuine.

I started opening my presents, A Soft toy wolf from Tyson aka lone wolf (this is why my present isn't mean) and a box of chocolate from Max which he has just asked if he could have some…that's the last I'll see of that box of chocolate!

Ray and I open each others presents at the same time, a white scarf... I love it and put it round my neck, it's soft and warm and I feel like snuggling into it….err I'll do it later . Ray opens his present.

"Hey it's a polar bear sniffing a lamppost!" Tyson yells even though he's right next to us

"No its Drigger"Ray snapped back. Wahey Ray recognises what my picture is, that's an improvement!

"Pfft it still looks rubbish" Tyson walks off, I could kick him, or snarl but Ray puts me off by saying

"Well I like it Kai thank you" so I smile at him.

There is one present left, and it's from Mr D, with holes in it?

Tyson whips of the paper, while Max (who for the moment isn't stuffing his face with chocolate) and Ray gaze on in amazement.

"Oh wow a puppy!" Max squeals as the dog comes bounding over to me, It licks my feet

"Hey get off!" I try not to laugh and shake him off, it is really cute but dogs aren't my cup of tea

"Have a heart Kai he is only playing" Tyson snorts like he is going to care about the dog within a few hours.

"Someone needs to take the dog out" just as I thought, no one is interested in the dog now, Tyson got bored of the dog two hours ago and Max is lying curled up on the couch wracked in pain from too much chocolate-must he do this every year?

"Fine I'll take him out" I mumbled

"I'll come with you!" Ray suddenly appeared from the staircase, great I could have gotten out of it and just left Ray to do it but I guess I'll go now.

We put the lead on the dog and walked out the door

"So what do you want to name him?" Ray asked while we walk towards the park

"Shouldn't we ask the others?" Me naming him? The concept never crossed my mind

"Nah you name him you are very creative" that just made me want to go "awww"

"Hmmm….Syrus?" Don't know what made me think of that but for some reason I have always liked the name.

"Ok Syrus it is" he smiled at me. Some reason I really like this dog now, maybe for the fact it no longer became a group dog but just mine and Ray's

We took it in turns, I walked and fed Syrus in the mornings while Ray did it at night, Max and Tyson couldn't care less, but did walk him on occasions if both of us couldn't.

But then came that day.

Was about ten Am when I woke up; I'd had a goodnight sleep but woke up with a sense of dread. Ray was out of the room which was normal because he always got up before me, but walking downstairs the house was empty and the door was open, I walked to it and looked out.

There was a red Volvo sitting in the middle of the road, Ray was standing back while max was knelt on the road in front of the car, Tyson with his hand on his shoulder.

"W-w-what happened?" I stutter, Max turns round and his face is stained by tears, then I notice his arms

"SYRUS!" I ran up and take Syrus from him, I hold him close and he whimpers, I'm sorry Syrus I don't want to hurt you anymore but at least he is still alive. A minibus pulls up and Mr D. pulls up "Jump in and I'll take him to the vets"

Only me and Ray get in Max is still blubbing on the road occasionally shouting "I'm sorry I forgot to lock the door I'm such an idiot!" while Tyson feebly attempts to comfort him.

Syrus is nuzzling into my arm. If this was just sitting in front of the TV like we normally do it would be cute, but this is painful. I turn my direction to Ray who hasn't said a word; all he has done is just stared into space. He notices me looking and turns and stares out the window.

We are sitting in the waiting room. Mr D is talking to the vet while we are sitting in complete silence

"Good dog" an owner says petting her little terrier who has just sat down. I don't consider myself very religious but in my head I prayed "please God let Syrus be ok"

Mr D comes out, stern and sad look on his face directing me and Ray to the room. I know what's coming. Syrus is on the table breathing heavy

"I'm sorry but he will have to be put down"…..shattered.My heart like a mirror falling off a wall onto a hard cement floor

"Can I hold him while he gets…erm"I couldn't say it, my voice was shaken and tears had began falling.

The vet handed me Syrus and pulled out the needle, I shuddered because of the association with the needle, the thought of one coming near me again made me feel sick.

Syrus made a tiny squeal as the needle came out and I clutched him tight. Ray still standing staring and Mr D was waiting outside. Syrus's eyes shut and Syrus was gone…

"We can have a funeral for him,they have coffins for pets so we can have one for Syrus and bury him at the back of the house" Mr D said putting his arm round my shoulder, he could see I was taking it hard but Ray seemed fine, still lost in his own world.

On the bus back I couldn't stop crying, probably made abit of a fool of myself in front of Ray when I clutched onto his sleeve to hide my face. Mind you I have done worse in front of him. I was expecting some comfort words but only got a hand stroking my head.

Walking in the door was a nightmare, questions flying faster than could be answered

"Where's syrus? Is he ok? Is he still at the vets? Is he dead? Why aren't you answering me Kai!"

I chose to walk upstairs and ignore them, I had managed to stop crying before coming in but they were threatening to fall again. I heard Mr D telling Tyson and Max to sit down before I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed weeping into my pillow but drifted off to sleep within twenty minutes.

Three Am great! Guess that's what I get for sleeping early, Ray is sound asleep in his bed but he is quite a sound sleeper anyway so I got up and started painting.

I painted Syrus, he was still on my mind and I wasn't going to sleep anytime either. The colours just flowed, painting him surrounded by fire; he wasn't burning but it just made him look powerful and, well hard to write in words which is why I painted it!

Six Am and my eyes were getting weary again, I finished with a last stroke and crawled back into bed falling asleep before hitting the pillow.

"Bzzzzzzzzzp", why do I never get rid of that alarm! Clambering out of bed still feeling really tired I look over to where I left my art work out, the picture is face down on the floor must of knocked it down when I moved, I check hoping it hasn't smudged but luckily it was dry, but I never put two and two together to realise that it would of smudged if I had done it.

I went downstairs and only Ray was up as usual, he'd cooked pancakes, my favourite.

"Thanks Ray" I smiled as he put his plate down in front of me, but he just walked off. He was still quite quiet but then I remembered about Syrus, this must be Rays way of dealing with grief.

"Maybe we should do some training today" Before he answered I had already grabbed our blades and went to the training room.

"Show me what you got!" I launched Dranzer, I know I said beyblading while down and confused doesn't work but I just kept thinking this was to help Ray out.

As expected, Ray was away with it and was knocked out after the first attack

"Sorry Kai I can't" he picked up Drigger and went out the room.

I decided to leave him, I know when I'm down I'd rather have someone to talk to but I wasn't good being the adviser and I'm sure he prefers being left alone.

I spent the half the day practising and the other half watching TV, I didn't know what else to do; I wasn't in a painting mood. It wasn't till dinnertime when Ray made an appearance again

"Are you ok Ray?" Rays face was scrunched up, like he was in pain

"Yeah I'm fine I'm fine" He wasn't, I said that enough when I wasn't to realise he was lying. "Just have abit of a headache"I Didn't even notice he was keeping his arm horizontal,and because he always had his bandages on it was nothing strange.

The next day seemed the same as today, nothing much to do or happened because I wasn't taken Syrus out I seemed to have little to do. I spent an hour staring at the ceiling in the living room.

"We are going to have a funeral for Syrus in an hour" Mr D. said coming into the house without even knocking

"I'll go tell Ray and Max" Tyson lept up and went upstairs, I kept staring at the ceiling, a I didn't want to go.

Yes I wanted to say goodbye to Syrus properly but I just didn't want to get emotional in front of everyone. I did what I had to…

"Syrus was a good dog…" I stared at Mr D giving the dog in the tiny coffin his last rights next to a miniature grave. Max started crying and even Tyson shed a tear. Ray was still silent and lacked emotion and of course I was crying…from my room.

I turned away as Syrus was put in, I couldn't watch and tried to focus my attention on something else…anything.

Rays diary lying wide open face down on the bed? I shouldn't its invading someone's privacy, but then again I need something to do. I opened it up and read…..


End file.
